"What are men to rocks and mountains?"
- Jane Austen
Winter is over. At least, mostly over. I tend to forget how it affects me. I love being outside. I don't even really have to be doing anything, just being outside makes me feel better about everything. Winter, in my mind, lingered for too long this year and only now have people ventured out.
I took a walk this morning. A long walk that I would have cut short because of the cold wind, but I persevered all the same. Which I'm glad I did because it gave me more time to think. Nature makes me think of God and makes it feel like he is near. Or nearer. The absence of nature during the winter is hard on me. I don't appreciate the cold so I spend a lot of time inside. When spring does roll around, I forget about going outside. I find it hard to "spring" out of hibernation.
Now, when it is winter I don't think that God is farther from me but walking this morning made think about the absence of God. This past year and a bit has been interesting. Interesting is a polite way of saying difficult without conveying all the details. And I'm sorry but that's all you'll get. Because of said interesting events, I feel like I'm all over the place, mentally and emotionally. This has become more obvious to me over the past few weeks as the snow has melted and the grass has become greener.
God has not been absent in my life, in fact has shown his love, grace and power in bounds, but I have strayed from him. I don't want to, but I do. Never far but enough. All of a sudden I realize I have not been with him. I have been absent. When I look he is there but before that moment I was looking for something else to make me feel purposeful, even though he is the one who made me with me in mind.
One day, I won't stray but till then I will have winter in my life where it will hard and I will have springs of revelation where I will return. But I promise I will always try my hardest and give my utmost.
I love story songs and this is one of my favorites. I listened to it on my walk. The end is my favorite part.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Egl8yQvnkqs
